Thursday 1 January 2015

Here's to Today!..

It's that time of year again; when our newsfeeds are inundated with resolutions, positive quotes and thoughts of the future. I doubt I'm alone in my dislike of such a time. I find it lonely, overwhelming and it leaves somewhat of a bad taste in my mouth. Naturally, some of that can be linked to such a dark time three years ago when everyone elses positivity only highlighted the bleak sadness which I was wrapped in but it isn't just that. I love the build up to Christmas, the buzz, the fairy lights and the love that comes from spending time with your favourite people, even if it usually winds up being absolutely exhausting, it's worth it. Once that is over though, it feels as if your life has spun slightly out of control; routine is a thing of the past and everyone is looking towards the future. Call me a pessimist but I have quite a strong dislike for the social ritual that is making New Years resolutions, I know I will never keep them and so prefer to save myself the disappointment and not make any in the first place. I also find it utterly terrifying that we are again at the beginning of a new period. I am constantly telling myself to avoid thinking about the past as I only get bogged down and trapped in it. To avoid crippling anxiety, I try to avoid thinking about most of the future as that frightens me into submission and makes the whole process obsolete. I like to hope I'm not the only one who feels this way and that at least one of you will join me in raising a glass to the now. 2014 may be over and 2015 may be just beginning but I am toasting today: a day that I have made it through despite fear and self loathing, despite tiredness and stress, a day that has contained countless feelings and a day almost at a close. And that is where I shall end these ramblings for today. 
I hope you are all feeling as a-okay as possible. 

Becca.